yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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