i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
