3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
