She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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