i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
