Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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