Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
