I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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