I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
