guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
