I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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