Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
