You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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