Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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