found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
