ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
