I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
