haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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