This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
