did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why did my mother make you get naked?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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