Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
