conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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