Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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