I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
