does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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