Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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