Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm passing your future prison.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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