She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
