Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
