why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
