Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
