Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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