My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you had me at cake vodka
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
