She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
