party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
