Don't you send me to vm
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
