I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
