Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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