it's too hot outside to masturbate.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
