We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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