Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
