She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
