Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she looked like the before picture.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
