She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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