is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
