We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
