I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i've created a new STD.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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