We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
