i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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