i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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