C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
try to milk me bitch
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
