We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
