We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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