69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
