is your mom at the bar?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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