ugly people sure do ruin things
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
jump out the window naked night went bad
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