This is not my ceiling
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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