Do you still have your period?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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