I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
