I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My dick has a subreddit
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
